The Goddess is a Part-Timer!
by BlackMidnightWhite
Summary: No summary! You have to read in order to find out what the plot's about! R&R and don't forget to comment on the mistakes! Rated T for weird fantasies and anime references in an anime! (ANIMECEPTION!) (Cover parodies Naruto, Pokemon, Tokyo Ghoul, Haruhi Suzimiya, Attack on Titan, and Nekopara.)
1. Welcome to MDonald's!

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! This is my first Noragami fanfic! It's gonna have fangirling gods, fast food managers, and...ANIME MARATHON FRIDAYS! So yeah. That's about it. Also at the end of each chapter or so I'll put a fun fact about the fanfic! Just be VERY aware that the 3rd Person POV's Narrator (courtesy of ERICA! pls read my other fanfic to get what's up) will make MANY ANIME REFERENCES due to the main character being an otaku and since Erica lives with an otaku asshole and a rookie otaku that takes after the otaku asshole. Also Erica is my third person POV, while otaku asshole is the first person. Otaku rookie...is just there. Always there.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Noragami or else it would've been DORAGAMI! Get it?! Dora...Nora...black hair...Okay...**

 **Warning: If you got this far, you'll know what's gonna happen. AND NOT DORA! OH GOD NOT DORAAA!**

"Welcome to M*Donald's! Would you like to try our limited edition Oreo Mint M*Flurry?" A brown-haired girl cheerfully said, while the random woman in the line that you're never going to see ever again decides in this random McDonalds in Akihabara. Whoops, forgot the censor. Lemme try again.

~500 TRIES LATER~

"Welcome to M*Donald's! Would you like to try our limited edition Oreo Mint M*Flurry?" A brown-haired girl cheerfully said, while the random woman in the line that you're never going to see ever again decides in this random M*Donalds in Akihabara. Finally! Got it right!

"Yes! Can I take two of the M*Flurry, four water cups, four #5 combos with extra cheese, and three Breakfast Burgers with regular buns not the sourdough bread? Also add in two BBQ sauces and six empty sauce containers with mayo on the side for...my kids! Yeah! My six kids that are all male and hot! Yeah!" I call that the woman is having a harem! The green-eyed girl working the cashier slammed her hands on the counter, looking sex craved.

"You have...SIX HOT KIDS? CAN I...MEET THEM?" Sigh. The-You know what, I'm just gonna introduce her now. Her name's Hiroki Murasakino, a part-timer at the hottest M*Donald's in Akihabara, with brown hair and purple streaks, complimenting her deep forest green eyes, making her look like the walking human bunch of grape. Living in Akihabara, she is also very fond of anime and manga, designating Anime Marathon Fridays, Window Shopping Wednesday, and Thrift Store Thursdays. Hiroki also lives with two hot men she calls for herself, which she is planning to use them in her own 30+ men harem. Since their names will not be revealed til later own for PLOT! I shall use the labels "The Kuudere" and "The Italy" for them. If you do not know who Italy is, then...Ahem. Enough internal monologue. Back to the story.

"I mean, that order is $30.75! It'll be ready in twenty minutes! Next in line!" Ringing up the order and putting in the change, the next customers stepped in line. Three girls, one with a blue, another with a green, and one with a pink scarf, each dressed heavily for the winter.

"Welcome to M*Donald's! Would you like to try our limited edition Oreo Mint M*Flurry?"

"No, we're good! I would like a hot coffee, heavy on the sugar, and she'd like a fountain drink! Hiyori, what do you want?" Hiyori, still deciding, sighed and ordered a plain hot chocolate, no foam. Hiroki smiled and ringed up their order, giving them the receipt.

"That'll be $7.58! Here's your cup and your order will be ready in two minutes! Next in line!" After the girls got their order, like everything, they left and walked out the fast food joint to a calmer area. Sigh. This will take a while. TIMESKIP!

~TIMESKIP TO 1~2 HOURS LATER~

"Order #875! I repeat, Order #875! The one with the two Breakfast Brisket and one black coffee, no cream, heavy on the sugar! Please come up! Here's your tray, and your napkins...Thanks for coming!" As Hiroki gave her last customer their order before Breakfast Hour was over, she spots a guy that entered the place, shouting "Milord!" She decided to help the guy, since Hiroki thought he might've been a mentally ill homeless person. A HOT mentally ill homeless person.

"Rina, can you take my place? I'll be back in five!" Her co-worker nodded, and Hiroki left the counter and approached the HOT mentally ill homeless person.

"Hey, are you okay? Should I guide you back to the streets? I'll even throw in a free burger and drink!" The HOT mentally ill homeless person stopped shouting, looked at her, blinked multiple times, and stared at her in awe. Hiroki thought the guy was HOT, but backed away, since she didn't want him to have a chance at groping her.

"Yo-You can see me? You can see me?! You can...see me?!" The HOT mentally ill homeless person was waving frantically in front of Hiroki, who was annoyed but is being nice since he IS HOT and MENTALLY ILL and HOMELESS.

"Yes! Everyone can see you! You're a human! A person! Look, you might have a family line of mentally ill people, so I'm just going to let you go, okay? Hell, I'll give you a free meal, but don't come crawling back here for more!" The HOT mentally ill homeless person then sparkled like Armstrong and became less hot, much to Hiroki's dismay.

"You can see ME!~ YOU can SEE MEE!~ YOU CAN SEEE-OOMPH!" Th-Sigh. I'm just gonna call him HMIHP. Anyways, the HMIHP got bonked on the head by an annoyed Hiroki, and she regretted it.

"Sorry! I..I just got out of control! Just tell me what you want and I'll give you a free meal too! Sheesh, just like Tamaki..."

"I'm searching for this cat, Milord! Have you seen him?" Hiroki looked at the poster of the sweet kitten with England's eyebrows, then shook her head.

"Nope, sorry dude. Just..Just stay here and I'll get you something!" Hiroki power-walked back to the counter into the kitchen, getting fries and a burger as fast as she can. While doing that, Hiroki got burned at the fryer and sauce on her arm. Cursing under her breath, she stuffed it into a bag with napkins and sauces, then getting a fountain drink for the guy. Almost spilling the drink while putting the top on, Hiroki stabbed in the straw and gave the meal to the guy.

"Uh...Thankyousomuch! Thank you! Ishallbegoingnow!" The guy had tears in his eyes when he dashed out, and Hiromi felt good, but still bad since she bonked him on the head. When she returned to her post, Rina was questioning why Hiroki was standing in the middle of the fast food joint talking to herself, and Hiroki brushed it off, not wanting to cause trouble. Ugh, I can't do this anymore! Narrator, take over! I'm manning the place! **(Fine, MOM.)**

~AFTER WORK~

(1ST PERSON POV)

"Great work Hiroki! Remember to come early tomorrow!" My manger slapped my butt, which startled me a bit, making me curse loudly. Her name's Moko, and we're pretty close, despite not hanging out after work. She's a full time manager, of course, while I'm a part-timer working my way to the top! She reminds me of Madam Red and a bubbly airhead, minus the obsession of wearing red clothes all the time and acting like a klutz 24/7.

"Yeah, sure! See you tomorrow!" I grinned as I put away my uniform and name tag in my section, taking out my wallet and phone. I was about to walk out the back door until Moko tugged my sleeve, smugly smiling. I have a bad feeling about this...

"Here's some things you need for tonight with your...'roommates.' Have fun!~" I looked inside my purse and saw that Moko slipped in some condoms and sex toys. I stared at her in shock and punched her shoulder, flustered and angry.

"Moko! I already told you, my roommates are just roommates! We're nothing more! This is the 257th time you've done this! Fucking hell, man!" I took all the questionable things and shoved it on Moko. To be honest, after working here for about two years, I've NEVER asked Moko where she got the condoms and shit from. Actually, I'm better off not knowing.

"Humph! It's tiring seeing you deny every single time! Fine, I'll return these back to my husband's friend, ONCE AGAIN!~" Moko pouted as she shoved the items that can be used in Diabolik Lovers (better than Twilight!) in a shopping bag. Wait what? She gets these not from a pharmacy or a sex toy store but her husband's FRIEND?! Hold up, I thought she had a BOYFRIEND!

"Wait what the actual hell?! Didn't you have a BOYFRIEND just TWO MONTHS AGO?! AND HOW DOES YOUR HUSBAND'S FRIEND HAVE KINKY STUFF?!"

"Well...We got married! Yay! I'm surprised that I didn't tell you! Hehe!~"

"YOU'RE STILL NOT ANSWERING MY QUESTION! Whatever! I'm going now!" I jogged out the back door leaving Moko in her wedding fantasies. Zipping up my jacket, I ran back to my apartment, which was a mere five blocks away. But wait! Lookie! I see wall scrolls on sale! 50% OFF!~

~TIMESKIP TO 45 MINUTES LATER~

"Where the hell were YOU, HIROKI?! WE'RE STARVING!~" One of the idiotic people I room with squeezed my leg as soon as I took off my shoes, whining his little ass off. I sighed and tried to shake him off, but I ended up falling on the floor. Getting up, I tried to walk to my room with the whining boy still holding on to my leg. As I got in the hallway, another idiot popped up, from the bathroom, dripping wet with hotn-I mean, dripping wet with sexyn-I mean, ugh! Fine! Earlier when I was defending myself from Moko that wasn't true! I'm attracted to these idiots more and more everyday! The sad part? They know and they don't give a fuck. Well, I mean, it's not like we can get in a relationship anyways!

"Natsu! Get off of Hiroki! Jeez, how many times do I have to tell you?..." The shirtless idiot scowled as he went into the room he shares with Natsu, which is short for Nakatsu. Slamming the door, Natsu jumped and I went into my room, putting my Black Butler wall scrolls I bought next to the dresser.

"Humph! Nourin-Chan you're so mean!~" Natsu calls the tsundere idiot Nourin-Chan instead of Rin because both Nourin and Rin are girly names. I flopped on my bed as I eavesdrop on them arguing, with only a door separating each other. After lying down for several minutes, I got up and went to the kitchen to reheat some curry in the pot and cook spicy cucumbers with pork, along with some side dishes. I'm the only one here that can cook at least a decent meal, so they always wait for me to get off at 3:30 to eat dinner, even though I make lunch for them to reheat and pastries I bought from the local bakery the day before at 8. They both don't have jobs, making it harder for me to pay the bills, rent, and provide enough for all of us. Luckily I work overtime every once in a while so I get a bigger paycheck.

"Hiroki-Chan! Nourin-Chan hit me on the head!~" I turned and see a pissed Rin and a bruised Natsu.

"Can you get this pest away from me for at least an hour?! He keeps trying to glomp me!" I sighed and kicked both of them in the shin, with a knife in hand from cutting the cucumbers.

"Natsu, Rin, no matter how much I love you guys you need to stop behaving this way! Rin, open up more and be nice! Natsu, leave Rin alone for at least ten minutes! In the meantime, Natsu can help with cooking and Rin can set up the table and take out the trash! Understood?" Going all Izumi Curtis, Natsu and Rin gulped and nodded. I opened a drawer and got out some ointment and bandages for Natsu. I tossed them to the Italy-like boy and resumed cutting the cucumbers. No matter how crazy I am, after a day of trying to be cheerful and nice to strangers that sometimes are assholes I become an asshole. One complaint equals one angry motherfucker.

~TIMESKIP TO DINNERTIME~

Placing down the last dish, which was Rin's favorite salmon with leeks, I sighed and sat down, saying 'ikadakimasu' with Natsu and Rin. After fifteen minutes of silent eating, Rin spoke up.

"Hiroki, when are we going to hunt?"

"I don't know. Sunset again? Maybe at 6. Yeah, 6. But this time until 9." I said that as I chewed on pork, and Rin and Natsu stared at me wide-eyed, and Natsu took a spit-take out of his Coke.

"9?! Are you crazy?! That's a long time!"

"Mhm! Nourin-Chan is right! We can't go for that long!"

"You can! Last time we went over two hours and thirty minutes! If we can do that, then we can do this! Tell you what, after we do that I'll take off work early tomorrow and we'll buy KF* and...go to anywhere you guys desire! Okay? Lucky for you I'm getting my paycheck tomorrow! I still have 75,890 yen in my piggy bank!" I tried to make it sound as convincing as I can, with fried chicken and money. I really wanted to go over our usual time because I want to help that poor HOT homeless mentally ill guy find his cat, Milord. I mean, that cat...I want it! I want it and rename it England!

"Sigh. Hiroki, you can't keep bribing us with fried chicken and money! We have human stamina that can go nonstop, but if you think about our fatigue, three hours already makes us sleep right on the spot!" My lip quivered as I tried to think of something. I can't tell them about that cat! No! If I don't, the cat with FABU eyebrows will be eaten! I have to!

"I just really...want to find this cat that belongs to a HOTmentallyillhomelessperson!" Okay, so the last part was totally no worth saying, but damn! His eyes are fine! Fine eyes! Ey-Ahem. Sorry.

"A cat? A kitten?"

"Hot...Mentally ill...Homeless?..."

"Okay, so the last part wasn't important! But today that guy entered M*Donald's shouting 'Milord!' and I felt really bad! Please?" They stared at me with confusion and conflict as I pouted and whined a bit.

"Sigh. Fine. If it's a cat that's worthy of noting."

"Only if you love me more than the hot homeless guy!~" I grinned and hugged them both over the table, taking Rin by surprise and Natsu squeezing us even more.

"Natsu, I'll always love you more than a random HOT stranger! Rin, if we find the cat, I'll find a way to let the HOT guy give the cat to you!" So...what I said was more wrong than anything else that I'll say in my entire life.

~TIMESKIP TO 2 HOURS LATER~

I take off my mask I wear while hunting and stare at the bright city from a skyscraper's rooftop with Natsu and Rin, scanning the area for Phantoms and Milord.

"You see Milord?"

"Nope. You're going to advertise again, aren't you?" I look at Rin guiltily, holding purple spray paint in my hand. Spraying the last part of the advertisement, I quickly put the spray paint in the holster I have around my leggings. The advertisement says:

 _NEED FRESH FRIES? OR WATER PIPE REPAIRS?_

 _CALL GODDESS ARUOMOICHA! 090-626-1031_

"Sigh. You need to stop advertising. You already have a job and I'm starting to find a job again. Also, you might get fined for graffiti." I pouted and sighed, kicking a stray pebble off the building.

"Fine. Sigh. But we really need the money. And...I'm afraid you'll be used like last time." Rin was being used as a tool at his last job that he quit 15 years ago. Natsu had many jobs, being a baker at 85 Degrees Celsius, but got fired at all of his jobs from being either too clumsy or distracted at times. Ever since their horrible experiences, I forced them not to get jobs and just tend to our apartment, the regular stuff.

"I won't be. I have something I want to tell you. I-"

"Hiroki-Chan!~ I see a Phantom!~" Being cut off by a grinning Natsu, Rin clicked his tongue and starts to pinpoint the Phantom's location. I put on my mask and counted down.

"Phantom seems to look like a frog. Frog is running towards the suburbs. Ready in-"

"Three...Two...One! Nakatsu! Nourin! Go!" A combination of purple and green glows came from Rin and Natsu, turning them into my personalized holographic guns that also are boomer-blades, blades that act as boomerangs. Natsu, being the smaller one, is gripped in my left hand, and Rin as the bigger one in my right. Following the Frog Phantom, I jumped from one rooftop to the next, trying to catch up. Several minutes later it spotted me, jumping up an apartment complex. Its tongue came out, trying to eat me. I dodged it and ended up slipping, falling off. In air, I adjusted myself and pointed Natsu and Rin to the ground, shooting at the pavement, trying to keep me from sustaining heavy injuries. Just seconds from the ground, I eyed a fire ladder on the side of the building. I quickly extended my leg, getting my foot caught on the ladder. Unluckily I banged my head, which made me drop Natsu and Rin.

"Fuck! Sorry guys! I'm gonna grab you in a sec!" I could hear Natsu whining about his poor head and Rin cursing under his breath as I got my foot out of the ladder. Jumping down, I grabbed them, and looked up to see the Frog Phantom. Well shit.

"Fuckkkkk! Run bitches!"

"We're in your sweaty ass hands, idiot!"

"Well I'm sorry that I'm nervous while being chased by a Phantom!" I ran in a zigag pattern, trying to confuse it. Not long later, we reached the suburbs. Not wanting to disturb anyone in their houses, I ran straight for an empty lot. Sliding on the cement, I readied Natsu and Rin. The Phantom roared, which sounded more like a bull frog's mating call to me. I started shooting bullets in its mouth, piercing the tongue and sides. It roared louder and hopped. I side-stepped to avoid getting squished, resulting in me getting a slight cut. I hissed, and ran to buy me some time after I got the cut. Not running very far, I ended up in a cabbage field. Why is their a cabbage field here?! Anyways, I started picking up cabbages to throw into its mouth so I can kill it, but it swallows the cabbages too fast for me to shoot.

"Guys, do you think that you can penetrate the mouth while it swallows the cabbages?"

"We can try!"

"Good! Cause I have a plan! Natsu, prepare to be on Boomer-Blade Mode! Rin, give it all you've got!" Natsu glowed a dim green, slowly turning into a Boomer-Blade. Grasping Natsu so hard I cut my hand, I stabbed Natsu in a rotting cabbage, preparing to throw him into the Phantom's mouth. I threw the cabbage, with Natsu in the front, ready to pierce. While Natsu was floating in the air with the cabbage, someone intervened, kicking the Phantom. When the cabbage hit the Phantom on the side, it roared loudly. I looked to see a girl with a pink scarf yelling 'Jungle Savate!,' and the HOT mentally ill homeless person carrying Milord with her. What the hell?...

"Nakatsu! Release!" Natsu came back to me, now in human form. I decided to have Rin still in hand, in case if they attack. The Phantom is still attacking them as the unexpected guests run in my direction. I leaped forward, landing on its face. Trying to shake me off, I started shooting the eyes. I tried to hold on by calling Natsu back again, Boomer-Blade Mode. Stabbing the left eye, I maneuver around it, stabbing it each time I move. Once I got close to the mouth, I called Rin to Boomer-Blade Mode too, and entered the mouth. Because of the stink, I held my breath and tried to run further inside, slicing the gums. The tongue tried to stick to me, and I cut it off with Rin. When I got near the end, I put both of my Regalias in front, penetrating the Phantom. Exiting it, I made a dramatic pose as it disappears behind me. Covered in goop and what smells like barf, I saw the girl and HOT guy staring at me. Shit.

"You...Killed it..." I brushed off some of the goop, and called Natsu and Rin to their human forms. Standing proudly, I took off the mask since I was almost suffocating. The guy looked surprised to see my face, and the girl was already surprised. I'm pretty sure the girl is Half-Phantom, and the guy might be the same, but he smells different. Like the REALLY good kind of different. Even from several yards away, I could smell it. He smells like...Actually, I can't describe it. It smells really good but was indescribable. Anyways, I approached him and made the worst impression I made in 357 years.

"Hell yeah I killed it, Mister HOT guy that I talked to that might be mentally ill and homeless! I see you found your kitty cat! Hello, cutie-pie! Aren't you a little fucker, England?..." I was somehow holding Milord right now, and he nipped my finger, making me curse in front of them. The girl was sweatdropping as the HOT guy was awkwardly trying to take Milord from my hands. Without hesitation, I gave Milord back to the HOT guy, afraid that Milord would bite off my precious middle fingers that I flip people off of. Rin pulled me close to him, with Natsu standing by his side, glaring at the girl and the HOT guy.

"Who are you? Why did you interfere?" Dammit, Rin, you're gonna get goop and who-knows-what over you! I don't want you hogging the shower when we get home!

"You haven't heard of me, the GREAT GOD YATO?! Really, I should advertise in more public places.. Anyways, this is Hiyori Iki, a Half-Phantom, and this is Milord a missing cat!" Rin held me tighter, and Natsu bawled his hands into fists. Why are they so skeptical of the guys anyways?! And...I KNEW IT! THE GIRL'S A HALF-PHANTOM! I removed Rin's arm that was around my waist as his eyes widened in fear.

"Hiroki, don't! What if they're dangerous?!" I flipped him off with both fingers, rolling my eyes. Sheesh, can't a goddess otaku live without over-protective bodyguards? I guess not...

"Rin, stop being so over-protective. If I die I'll just be reborn again. Nothing personal. Anyways, sorry about Rin. He can get a little over-protective with meeting strangers along with Natsu. My human name's Hiroki Murasakino, but I'm better known as Aruomoicha, the goddess of alcohol and toys!" As I did my magnificent pose with Rin and Natsu despite them sweatdropping, Yato and Hiyori stared at us blankly. We held the pose for a few seconds until it got awkward and Rin cleared his throat, which is our cue to stop.

"You...Haven't heard of the great and almighty Aruomoicha? Jeez, maybe I should make my own anime instead..."

"Aruomoicha, you have two Regalias?" I stood proudly and hugged Rin and Natsu.

"Yep! It's rare for an unknown goddess like me to have two Regalias, but hey! They're my finest addition to my 30+ harem! The kuudere, AKA Rin, and the Italy, AKA Natsu! And lemme tell you, their abs are the absolute highest quality I can find! Look at it! Touch it if you will! It's stone cold solid!" I held up both of their shirts so I can display their FABULOUS abs and of course touch them. Yato seemed interested and Hiyori was blushing. Hah, a high school girl like her brings me back to my days when I was first looking for my harem of 30+ men!

"Hiroki, our shirts?..."

"Oh yes! Sorry about that, you two! Anyways, do you have a question for the AWESOME goddess?"

"Can I borrow one of your Regalias? I recently rel-FIRED my own, so I'm in a desperate situation! Please!" I thought about giving either Rin or Natsu, but...I know! I clapped my hands and danced around, humming the opening of Black Butler.

"Okay! But on one condition: You have to join my harem!"

 **~Author's Note~**

 **Yay! Finished writing this! I'll try to post a chapter every 2 weeks or once a month since I have other fanfics going on and I'm still in school. I know I know. What an awful name for an OC goddess! Hiroki is a brand of alcohol and Murasakino means purple, and Aruomoicha is a blend between words aru ko haru (alcohol) and omoicha (toy)! Yeah. I'm just SOOOOO original. Anyways, here's a fun fact!**

 **Fun Fact: Even though Hiroki got Rin and Natsu wayyyy before anime was created, their vessel names are Nourin and Nakatsu. What do their names have in common? They all associate with anime names!**


	2. Staying with Poverty!

**~Announcement~**

 **Hey guys! I'm going to post a chapter every month or two months! You are like: Whaaaa?! But that's sooo long! Now hold on! I'm planning for this fanfic to be a side-project, so it's going to be MAXIMUM 20~30 chapters or 30~40 chapters! That's pretty short in comparison to The Blood Alchemist and A Host Club's Hostess (both pretty good stories you guys should check out!), so yeah. Also this fanfic I AM NOT ABANDONING, since I put one on hiatus, another is put up for adoption, and one I'm not even sure if my humor is fit for it anymore, since my sense of humor changes a lot. That's why I'm not abandoning this fanfic or not put any effort into it; I don't want it to turn out like the others. Also, I made a HUGE MISTAKE last chapter: Hiroki's name is actually HIBIKI. Yup, I made that mistake. SO SORRY! ^ ^" Anyways, enjoy this chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Noragami. What, you thought I was going to put a snarky or funny remark at the end? No, I'm completely serious. Like SUPER CEREAL. *puts on Man-Bear-Pig mask* (SOUTH PARK REFERENCE! Plus it's one of my favorite episodes, not that YOU would care..)**

 **Warning: This warning is like CEREAL. It's sweet like the marshmallows in Lucky Charms, sweeter than the Honey Oat Cheerios, and the sweetest of sweet of MOTHERFUCKING SWEET MY ASS! This is NOT My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, THIS IS SPARTA! (What the hell was I writing?...)**

 **Previously...**

 **Introductions were made to our OCs, they met Yato (*cough cough* purple-haired Tamaki *cough cough*) and Hiyori (*cough cough* Jungle Savate Haruhi *cough cough*), and HIBIKI (*cough cough* rabid otaku goddess *cough cough*) will only let Yato borrow one of her Regalias on one condition: He MUST join her 30+ reverse harem! Well, her harem doesn't have 30+ men yet, but she's working on it!**

"Okay! But on one condition: You have to join my harem!" Yato's jaw dropped so far from shock, and I really don't know why he was shocked. He's hot, I want a reverse harem, and he wants one of my Regalias. Well...The last person that wanted to date Rin was this guy with glasses, and he immediately disappeared once I allowed him to date Rin (due to Rin's dismay) and join my harem in exchange...

"Come on, it's not THAT bad! You get to borrow one of my Regalias for the time being, I help you find a Regalia, and in exchange you're part of my reverse harem! Rin, Natsu, back me up!" Rin sighed as he cleared his throat, looming over Yato at a staggering 6 foot 1.

"It's better than you think. All you have to do is help around the apartment, wait for her to come home, and give her as much affection as possible. As long as she's not really mad like the time she watched the whole duration of Mermaid Melody in one day, then you did your part." After getting the wrong idea, Yato backed away, terrified at the thought of becoming someone's lap dog. I sighed and decided to use some bribing, after all I CAN summon alcohol and toys out of no where. I snapped my fingers, making the infamous Japanese whiskey Hibiki appear in my hands.

"Do you want alcohol? Here's a free one named after me, Hibiki! This one is a 17-year old whiskey, aged well! If you want, I can WHISK up some more! Get it? WHISKey? WHISK? Bloody hell, I hate myself..." I awkwardly stood there, rubbing the back of my head at my terrible pun. Clearing my throat, I snapped my fingers again, making a reverse bladed katana appear in thin air.

"Or...Do you want this katana? Or a different weapon like an AK-47? After all, weapons ARE part of the toy category..." Holding a 3 pound bottle in one hand and a 10 pound sword in another REALLY throws my sense of balance off, making me almost topple over several times while trying to act cool in front of Yato and Hiyori. Helping me, Rin held the katana and Natsu held the bottle of whiskey for me like it was a normal day with no Phantoms to fight.

"Uh, I'm fine...Thanks for offering..." I shrugged and snapped my fingers again, making the alcohol and sword disappear, with a poof of a purple mist following after.

"So...Um...Hiyori. How did you get out of your body? Are you...One of those that aren't on the fence, nor off the fence? Do you know what I mean?" Trying to get the answer out of Hiyori with low to subtle clues about her cord, she looked at her flickering cord, which was moving back and forth like a cat's tail.

"Well, that's what Yato told me, and he promised me that he'll help me get my body bac-"

"I'll help you! I'll help you!" I said cheerfully, circling Hiyori like a happy little kid licking a lollipop. Feeling bad for the youngster, I decided to help her "get her body back." I knew the dark truth behind it, but...It's not possible without interacting with gods and goddesses.

"Really?! How much will it cost?!" She whipped out her coin purse and I held out my hand, which made a "5." Standing there proudly that I'm going to get my first actual job in 3 months, Hiyori ruined the moment.

"Uh...5 yen! Right?! Oh...Then...50 yen! No? 500 yen? NO?! Then what is it?!" I shook my head at every answer she gave, with her curiosity growing by the second. Sighing, I decided to let my anime loving side show.

"By 5 I mean either 5 hot guys with abs, preferably tsundere, sadistic villain, teasing childhood friends, you know...That sort of thing! Extra points if they're into anime! OR! You buy me 5 anime merchandise, it can be anything, to pay me! I'll give you 5 days to do either one! Deal?" I struck out my hand so I can shake hers to seal da deal, and after being flabbergasted at my offer (I really don't know why she is), she took my hand and shook it. Her hands are warm, and her firm but delicate grip contrasted with my firm, hand-breaking grip. Hearing a crack, I stopped shaking her hand and backed away, apologizing.

"S-Sorry! I have a powerful grip! So, what do you say?"

"It's fine! I think I have some manga at home if you want it. My brother's off in university and his old room has a display dedicated to anime, so you can come by to get it if you want. My brother doesn't read his old ones anyway..So when are you going to help me?" Hiyori was worryingly looking at her right hand covered in goop, and I knew I broke her hand one way or another. Tsk, I should be gentle...

"Hmm...Tomorrow! How about that? I swear I can make you normal instantly!" Okay, lying ain't my forte, but I'm so used to being a con-woman at time over the centuries to get jobs (some of which I'm not proud of) that lying has become the norm for me. Hiyori's eyes sparkled with joy and she smiled genuinely, which made me feel kinda bad that I lied to her face, but I kept a strong smile and laughed a bit.

"Thank you thank you thank you! Well...! Oh no! It's 9:03! Yato, Hibiki, Rin, Natsu, see you tomorrow! Actually, I don't know where to go from here, I'm not exactly well-versed in this prefecture.." I looked at Rin, who was getting out this mega GPS thing Natsu made for him for his birthday, which past only two weeks ago.

"Hmm...It says we're in the Chiba Prefecture, which isn't far from Akihabara and Tokyo...! Hibiki, have you gotten any change?" I stared at Rin quizzingly, but decided to play along, rummaging through the bills I keep hidden in my boots. Counting out the ones we need, I whipped out 1200 yen and held it up high.

"I only have 1200 yen I could give to them to buy a train ticket, but don't they already have the train passes? It's the 21st Century!"

"Hibiki, the 1200 yen is for Yato over there, since he looks as though he is...homeless.." Looking at Yato with further inspection, I could see that his jacket is stained, his pants have tiny holes, and his boots are so worn that the skin started peeling off. I shuddered at how poorly maintained Yato's outfit was as he fumed with anger, saying that he'll own ten mansions, 20 servants, and a whole lotta money someday. I kinda felt bad for the god, living for so long in a place filled with technology, anime, and greatness and still doesn't have at least a teeny weeny apartment to say the least.

"Hibiki-Chan, I'm tired! Can we go home now?~" Natsu tugged on my sleeve, rubbing his eyes cutely as he yawned. I sighed and patted his head, smiling warmly.

"Yes! We'll be going now! Yato, here's money for you to get back, and Hiyori, if you live in any neighboring prefecture and don't know where to go, Rin is going to print out a map for you! It's been a pleasure meeting you!" Natsu and I bowed as Rin handed Yato the money and Hiyori her map, soon bowing before my side. We then walked all the way to the train station, hoping that no one will notice the goop we're covered in.

~30 MINUTES LATER~

"Yawn...We're home! Where's my key?..." I shuffled through my utility belt, which holds a sewing kit, flashlight, first aid kit, and a bunch of things needed if fighting a Phantom like mini cucumbers. Yup, mini cucumbers. Don't ask. I then looked in my boots where I usually keep my keys if it's not in the belt, annoyed and tired that this is happening. Ugh, don't tell me?..

"Hey, Rin, Natsu. Did you guys bring your keys?" They stared at me like we're fucked, and Natsu rubbed the back of his head as Rin tried to maintain his poker face.

"Ne, Hibiki-Chan, I thought you had your keys so I didn't bring mine.~" Rin's eyes widened a bit while I sighed of hope that Rin had his keys.

"..Sorry, Mistress Hibiki. I suppose I forgot." I glared at Rin for calling me "Mistress Hibiki' since it makes me feel old and too "traditional." Every time we're in a dire situation or something, my Regalia converses with me in a polite mannerism, which I hate since I'm more of a laid-back and casual goddess, not a traditional and formal goddess. Ugh, had many run-ins with them and all of them were NOT good. NOT GOOD.

"Hell no Rin, you ain't kissing up my ass with polite mannerisms! You know it annoys me! Ugh, Natsu?" Rin bowed in apology politely many times, and I had to stop him forcefully while Natsu was searching for his set of keys. After several minutes of quadruple checking his pockets, Natsu sheepishly chuckled, rubbing the back of his head like any anime cliche in a romance or something.

"Hehehehehe...HEHEHEHEHEHE...HEHEHEHEHEHE!" Natsu started chuckling uncontrollably, which is a habit he has when he gets embarrassed and or nervous in a dire situation. Rin gave me "the look," in which I replied with a slight nod. The ivory-black haired Regalia took out a small piece of chocolate, waving it uninterestingly in front of Natsu's belly. Natsu stopped chuckling, and snatched the chocolate away from Rin's big hands, popping it into his mouth, enjoying the candy in his mouth. For some reason if you want to stop the blonde shota from laughing, wave or place a piece of cherry chocolate on his stomach. Don't ask how, don't ask why.

"...Natsu, no keys?"

"...Sorry Hibiki-Chan, but no keys.." Natsu looked a bit glum, so to cheer him up a bit I patted his head, trying to reassure my Regalia. Sigh...I guess we have to stay at a hotel...OH WAIT! KOFUKU'S! HER PLACE IS ONLY A 15 MINUTE WALK FROM HERE! My emerald green eyes widened in joy as I took both of their hands, leading them back to the elevator. After we got out of the apartment complex, Rin stopped in his tracks, leaving Natsu to skip ahead.

"Where are we going? A hotel again?" I facepalmed at how stupid Rin could be sometimes, but took his hand and grinned, despite being tired enough to sleep for over 9,000 hours.

"No silly willy nilly! We're going to Kofuku's place!~" Rin's eyes widened as I yelled at Natsu to come back before he disappeared form our sights. My tsundere/kuudere type Regalia backed away, about to enter back into our apartment complex. I dragged him all the way back to Natsu, going into a stern and very serious mode.

"Rin, for the 157th time, you do NOT need to be afraid of Kofuku. Do NOT be rude to her like last time. We are their guests, and they are our hosts. We need to respect them on a friendship and mutual level. Your kuudere, tsundere self CANNOT go beyond 100 refreshing points. CAN. NOT. This is an order from your goddess Arumoicha. Do you understand? DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOURIN." Rin gulped in fear of my formidable aura, since I NEVER EVER EVER call him Nourin unless it's a dire situation. And it's probably also because I never EVER EVER EVER EVER say "this is an order from your goddess" unless it's dire, kinda how like Ciel never says "this is an order, Sebastian" unless it's dire. I felt bad for yelling at him, but he was EXTREMELY RUDE towards Kofuku and Daikoku when we stayed over when we had exterminators over at our apartment for 4 days.

"Y-Yes. Yes my goddess Arumoicha. I shall follow your we-"

"Nourin-Chan, Hibiki-Chan, can we hurry up? I'm getting sleepy and I don't like the smell of the green goop! It smells like shit. :P" Our eyes widened at Natsu's use of "shit," since he never curses in order to maintain his "cinnamon roll shota" personality to keep me happy. We both sighed and I cracked a slight smile, walking towards the direction of Poverty's home.

~30-40 MINUTES LATER~

"Ugh brat, can't you walk the rest of the way yourself?! It's only 5 more feet, goddammit!" Rin huffed as he carried Natsu to Kofuku's, and I giggled at how well they contrasted each other, like seasoning on rice. I picked the good ones. When arriving at her doorstep, I was nervous that she might be sleeping, but without hesitation I rang their doorbell. After several minutes of waiting, I was planning to give up until she opened the door, humming the opening to Shugo Chara.

"Ah, Hiro,, Rinny, Natty, I was expecting you!~ That's why I was waiting for so long, too too rooo!~" Sometimes Kofuku would add "too too rooo" at the end of her sentences, mostly when she's greeting someone, from watching Steins;Gate with me once. She ADORED Mayuri Shiina like a little sister due to their similar habits and mannerisms, but the Steins;Gate itself is most likely her favorite, along with Another. Because she IS the goddess of poverty, I think she likes those shows since both anime tend to have unfortunate events occur quite often, and Kofuku might actually enjoy fantasizing just a teensy weensy bit that her powers are altering the show.

"Sigh...Sorry Kofu Tofu, We were caught up fighting Phantoms and we didn't realize that neither of us brought our keys out, and we're pretty tire so I can't teleport in. Can we stay here for the night?" Kofu Tofu is a nickname I made for Kofuku since her name's too tongue twisting to pronounce for me. I know. Living for over 1,000 years now and still can't pronounce simple things.

"Mhmm! I told Daikoku that he should make hot pot tonight, so you're in for a treat! Hibi, remember, 1,234th night! Rinny, come with me! We're going to play!~" I chuckled worryingly at Kofu Tofu's mention of this being the 1,234th night, since for each night I have to pay her 5,000 yen. Yeah, even though we're pretty close, she charges me like a gold digging hotel. Oh well, at least she gave me the friends discount! Rin gave me the "HALP ME PLS" look as Kofu dragged him away, with Natsu following them. It seems as though there's a dark aura surrounding them..Oh well. Probably nothing. I went into the bathroom and scrubbed myself clean, trying to get rid of the pontent scent with Kofu's strawberry-scented body scrub. Walking out of the bathroom with only a towel on, Kofu popped out with a flowing, lavender summer dress, giggling happily.

"Kofu Tofu, what are you doing with that dress?..." Kofu had a scary atmosphere surrounding her, smiling grimly while coming closer with the dress. No, not today...No no no no...

"Hiro, your clothes need to be washed and you can't go around in just a towel~~" A few unexplainable random anime references and evil giggles can be heard coming from me and Kofu Tofu in the bathroom.

~SOMETIME LATER DURING A LATE NIGHT DINNER~

"Ne, Hiroki-Chan, the dress looks good on you!~" I blushed slightly at Natsu's random comment in our silent dinner, nibbling on the mackerel. I took a fish ball from the center and poked it, eating silently. Rin's being quieter than usual, looking away from me while eating his beef. Daikoku looks more beat up than usual, and he's not eating.

"Um..Daikoku. You...You don't look so good. Are you okay?" Daikoku looked up from his wittling, which he had been occupied with for the last 30 minutes.

"Huh? Yeah. I've gotten sick from not going outside too often. Cough cough.." Daikoku started coughing, and Kofu quickly dropped her bowl, going by his side, opening a water bottle and patting his back worryingly. Sigh, if only my Regalias were like that caring and kind like any anime character..

"Sorry, Daikoku has a cold! Please look over that fact, too too roo!~" Daikoku waved Kofu off, going back to wittling. We ate in silence for a few more minutes, and I accidently dropped my fish ball on the floor. NOOO FISH BALL!

"...Fish ball..." I really LOVE fish balls and anything with fish, since some tiny experiences and animes have scarred me to not eat any meat again. Except fish. Luckily they didn't touch fish yet. Oh shit. Mermaid Saga. FUCCCCCKKKKKK! Sigh. That's another internal conflict I'll deal next time.

"Hiroki-Chan, I'll gi-Oh. Never mind!~" Natsu giggled as he sat back in his seat after offering his fish ball. Taking me a few seconds to notice, it turns out Rin put 5 fish balls in my bowl. He was looking away, again, while eating. Awww, he's so sweet! 3

"Nourin Tin Tin, thank you!~ Hey, why aren't you looking at me?.." I snapped my fingers in front of Rin's face, who didn't look up until the 4th snap. His face looked red, probably from sitting near another sick person and right under the lights. Ugh, please don't be sick. I hate taking care of people..

"...It's..It's nothi-"

"Nourin-Chan thinks you look nice in Kofu-Chan's dress!~" I looked back and forth at Natsu and Rin, and Kofuku slightly giggled while eating. I grinned and poked his cheek, startling the black-haired Regalia.

"Awww, thanks!~ Hey Kofu Tofu, are we watching the entirety of 91 Days, again?" Kofu nodded her head and turned on the TV, going to her library. She prerecords EVERYTHING she likes, and every month she has to clean it out, despite her pleas of continuous "nos." It takes her 3 days to do so. Trust me. Luckily it doesn't take her 91 days! Get it? 91 DAYS? Ugh god..

"Daikoku, do you want to watch?~" He shook his head, muttering while going to his room. We said goodnight to him as the first episode played, and after several episodes I slowly fell asleep on a pink pillow.

~THE NEXT DAY~

"Thanks, Kofu Tofu! I'll pay you back someday! See you later!" I waved at Kofuku and Daikoku, who were waving back. Natsu exaggerated his waves, shouting all the different ways of saying "goodbye." Natsu is very fond of Daikoku and looks up to him as a father figure since Natsu..had...You know what, let's not go into the dark past! I let out a huge sigh and smiled weakly, trying to get rid of the dark thoughts. Rin glanced at me, then looked forward at the trees, stepping in the crunch crunch of the leaves.

"Rin, are you...okay? Did you...remember again?"

"...It's not that."

"Then...you know what, let's talk about...something else! Hey Natsu!" Natsu turned to us, looking at Kofuku and Daikoku for the last time. He skipped up and started jumping on the leaves like a little kid.

"Hehehe! Crunch crunch crunch!"

"Sigh. Natsu, we need to go. I have work soon and we need to unlock the apartment. We can crunch crunch the leaves later, okay?" Natsu pouted as he stomped a couple more times, but I decided to join him. We all need some fun in our system sometimes.

"Sigh. Natsu, 5 minutes."

"Yayy!" We jumped on the leaves as Rin looked at us in disappointment, but he stepped on the leaves, messing up the pile. Daikoku came running over, scolding us for messing up his leaf pile.

"S-Sorry...We'll be leaving now!" I bowed and we walked away from their house in the direction of the train station. Not long later, we meet with Yato again.

"H-Hi..What a conwikadink.." I twirled up long, purple bangs, biting my brown ponytail. I'm going to be late for work..Moko is going to think some weird things and not accept any of my excuses...

 **~Author's Note~**

 **Hey guys! Sorry for being lazy and not posting for such a long time! School, more school, and other things came up, so yeah. I'm thinking of trying out for 3D animation classes, but at the same time hesitating because it's really hard. But part of me was like: Ehh. Fuck it. It's going to help me with my dream goal of making 1/2 Prince, Horimiya, and Angel Densetsu into animes. So yeah. I'm really into Attack on Titan, FullMetal Alchemist, 91 Days, and the live-action adaptation of Skip Beat! right now, which all shows I definitely recommend! Anyways, here's a little fun fact! Again, a fun fact that can be from anywhere, from my fanfics to about schools around the world!**

 **Fun Fact: Many people know this, but soon forget this! L Lawliet (cosplaying as him this year!) and Usopp have the same voice actor, Kappei Yamaguchi!**

 **This is BlackMidnightWhite, signing out. Have a nice day/night! BYE!~**


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